


keep looking back and see how far you go.

by hyacinthh



Category: MARIKIN online 4 (Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Childhood Trauma, Delusions, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Hallucinations, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt and Very Little Comfort, Jeraldy needs a hug, Not Canon Compliant, headcanons, very short little oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 08:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28468197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinthh/pseuds/hyacinthh
Summary: He was the one to blame.Always him.Why did it have to be him?Why did it have to be Him?Him.Or, Jeraldy tries to believe he’s back home again, but finds he’s lost any chance of ever going back.
Relationships: Jeraldy Mazaingo & Gou Kirimi, Jeraldy Mazaingo & Jungle Takahashi, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	keep looking back and see how far you go.

The honey sweet aroma of goldenrod blooms and lavender fields waft throughout the air, warming the air from its wintry chill and welcoming spring. The Empire is colored gold and pink, the recreational flatfields just behind the watchtowers bustling with people out to enjoy the spring air. 

The students of the school still had a handful of days left before the semester resumed, yet many had exchanged reunions during the gorgeous spring day. There was no need, however, for reunions between those who never parted in the first place. 

They were fooling around in the fields by the marketplace again. Of course they were. A game of monkey in the middle ensued as Jungle dangled a loaf of stolen bread over his head, always just out of reach. 

It was never fair how tall Jungle had grown compared to him, and how he wasn’t appearing to stop anytime soon. He was completely dwarfed, that and the fact that he wasn’t  _ nearly _ as fast as they were. 

The two boys tumbled around in the tall grasses, the worry of dirtying their clothes or fooling around like children completely abandoned in the moment. From a simple tussle evolved a sword fight using river reeds, being watched on admirably by their teacher, standing by to supervise out of their own good will. Why wouldn’t he? He loved these children as much as they did he. The unexpected trio was never far without the other.

Soon though, the teacher had finally decided that enough was enough, and gone and snatched the stolen loaf of bread out of Jungle’s hands, lightheartedly chiding him for the petty theft, and sending him back to the market to return it with a formal apology. 

Reluctant to leave his friend, Jungle looped one arm around theirs, dragging them both off to the marketplace with very little protest from the other side. Of course, the teacher reasoned, if the two of them were going then so was he. 

Together they’d stay. 

_ He pressed his head against the glass of the mirror, wishing to slip through to the other side. _

_ It was so cold. _

But it was spring, why was it cold? The breeze was warm and welcoming, and the Gapanese Empire was in full bloom...

_ Tear tracks stained his cheeks, so many tears, too many, he was worried they’d never fade. His office provided little warmth and no comfort, cold marble floors and walls that barred him in the only spectators of his delusion. _

He was simply upset he hadn’t gotten full marks on that essay. He was always top of the class. A prodigy. Destined for great things. He was the pride of his teacher, who had always believed in him, who had taught him everything he knew. Someday he’d repay him tenfold for his kindness...

_ He held his broken arm tightly as he leaned against the mirror, limp against his side and stinging with burning pain. Kirimi had broken it. Held him down and shattered his bones simply because he wouldn’t listen. Held him afterwards, hugged him afterwards, whispering sweet nothings into his ear and it was all his fault why couldn’t he have listened why couldn’t he have just kept hisheaddownand- _

It was never like Jungle to be this late to comforting him after an injury. They would be at his side immediately, helping him calm down, acting as an anchor for a spiralling mind, and take out the bandages that are Not For Them, because their friends always came first before themselves, and he was their  _ best _ friend. Bullies would come back with black eyes and bruises, and would never bother him again. And they did it all for him… 

_ Jungle had to stay far far away from him. They were too good, too kind, cared too much. He did not deserve a friend like them. So he pushed them away, far away, never meeting their glance, and sticking daggers into his mind for his selfishness and how much of a terrible friend he was for manipulating them like this. He was the one to blame. _

_ Always him. _

_ Why did it have to be him? _

_ Why did it have to be Him? _

_ Him. _

_ The mirror shattered, as did his wonderland, reality coming back to him in the form of shattered shards of glass stinging into his hands as he collapsed onto the floor. _

_ It was alright. It wasn’t alright. It was alright. _

_ Nothing bad ever happened in the Gapanese Empire nothing bad ever happened in the Gapanese Empire nothingbadeverhappenedinthe- _

_ He wasn’t in the Gapanese Empire anymore. His home burned down so long ago. He was being a fool and an irritable sensitive child for not being able to remember.  _

_ Looking through rose tinted glasses would only jeopardize everything, and he could never, never let that happen. He wanted to escape, he wanted to go back, but there was nothing he could do now. His home would never come back, no matter how much of a photo replica he tried to make with this city.  _

_ He cried. He cried and he cried, sobbing to nobody as he mourned the loss of everything he had once held dear, so overcome with emotion and unfathomable pain that he cried until he felt sick.  _

_ Nobody came.  _

_ He cried until his tears burned red.  _

**Author's Note:**

> brain goes brrrrr   
> anyways marshie this one’s for you ur my favourite simp


End file.
